


Icy Touch that Defrosted a Heart

by ComeOnFord



Series: Lovers' Hands [6]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27533686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComeOnFord/pseuds/ComeOnFord
Summary: Juvia thought about dying.Gray dying scene described.Juvia had terrible nightmares.Read with caution if it was a trigger for you.
Relationships: Gray Fullbuster & Juvia Lockser, Gray Fullbuster/Juvia Lockser
Series: Lovers' Hands [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1999696
Kudos: 18





	Icy Touch that Defrosted a Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Juvia thought about dying.  
> Gray dying scene described.  
> Juvia had terrible nightmares.  
> Read with caution if it was a trigger for you.

Juvia’s pursuit for Gray didn’t start purely with love.

There were lots of other factors in the equation at the beginning: he was the first to defeat her, handsome face, he groped her (by accident), she wanted someone, she had nothing else to do, her habit of going after someone, and all other little bits and pieces that had nothing to do with “love”.

She thought it would be easy. Though she was not good at keeping a man, she was rather good getting one and then got dumped.

But it was a flat out No from him.

He didn’t take advantage of her. He would push her away when she got too close to him. While he would go on mission with her under Master Makarov’s order, he kept his distance and tried to his best to be friendly.

He was absolutely no fan of public display of affection. Actually, he hated it with passion. She found it quite funny. She had fun when he yelled in embarrassment or groaned in frustration when escaping from her grip.

The longer she stayed in Fairy Tail, the more she liked him.

Everyone in this noisy and happy guild shared the same vibe: loyal to friends, proud of their guild and bond, protective, and sincere. They never pretend.

She dropped her guard in time. She and Gajeel maintained a sort of friendship for a long time back when they were in Phantom Lord, but it was not like what she got in Fairy Tail. She went soft around them and reveald more and more of that little girl inside her.

The only little imperfection was Gray still did not like her.

She realized that she had truly fallen for this man when he died for her in the Eclipse incident. She even thought, as long as he was alive and unharmed, it was fine that he would never love her.

She considered him a real guild mate and important friend, so she felt terribly guilty when she killed the demon that reanimated his father. It was correct and necessary, but did not lift that feeling from her.

It was very cruel. She shared his grieve and anger.

She thought to herself, now that she was truly in love with him, it’s time to put an end to this “love Gray-sama” game. How ironic was that. Her life was a joke.

She didn’t think about hiding it from him. He deserved to know, and that much respect and honesty.

In the past, he pushed her away whenever she tried to get close to him. That time, he was on the edge of collapse and seemed to have lost all control of himself. He gave her a hug. It was not a hug out of love, she knew that well. It was out of that deep rooted sorrow and desperation. Still, she gently wrapped her arm around him, tried her best to give him all she had. That was the last thing she could do for him.

When Fairy Tail was disbanded, she didn’t go with Gajeel when he and Levy offered. She was more than satisfied to see how far Gajeel had come to this man he now was. She had done enough interruption to his healthy and loving relationship with Levy lately so she wanted to leave them alone.

After the Eclipse incident, she had nightmares about Gray dying. She stayed in Gajeel’s place instead of Fairy Hills for well over a month because she woke up every night from nightmares. She would scream and wail in her sleep. She would jolt up from bed and run to the door tried to go find Gray. She broke down in her long term friend’s arms almost every night.

Gajeel was on the edge of losing him temper at one point. Levy stayed with them after knowing about it. Luckily, she got better not long after Levy joined.

She promised them she would be fine before urging the pair of love bird to get on their journey. She went track down Gray alone and stuck by his side. She just needed to see him alive, with her own eyes.

That was the only way she could sleep at night.

She lived in a house few minutes walk away from his. It was a good distance that was close enough to keep her nightmare at bay and would not let her scream reach him at night, if she ever did it again.

It worked for a good couple weeks. But the nightmares crept back.

She dreamed of him dying in front of her eyes. He looked at her before getting shot in the head. It was a look of fright and deadliness. She would rather have died herself instead of watching him. There was no blame in his eyes and that made things worse. It was her being stupid and distracted in a battlefield that got him killed.

_It was all her fault._

That was what had been haunting her for months.

She did not know it was a dream until Gray broke in her bedroom and shook her out of it.

Under the dim light, he wore a deep frown, worried and concerned. She couldn’t feel any of her limbs. Everything was wet and cold, as if she was sunk to the bottom of a frozen sea. She couldn’t move.

She wanted to die at that moment to end this prolonged torture of guilt and embarrassment. Now he knew she had nightmares. She needed to die before he found out what it was and became a burden of him. She needed to……

He pulled her into a bone crushing hug.

She was startled.

Despite his hands being cool as usual because of his ice magic, it felt like red hot iron to her. All she could feel was his hug. She was reduced to a sobbing mess in his arms. He held her tight and did not let go.

As if that sent off a signal, she cried herself to sleep. Those cool arms never left her. That was the most sleep she had got since the Eclipse incident.

She couldn’t get herself to face him the next morning. He came to her and started to invite her to do things together. Sometimes he asked her to cook for him, train with him, or go on missions together. Eventually she moved into the house he was staying.

She meant it whenever she said “As long as Gray-sama is fine, Juvia is satisfied”.

After defeating Aldoron, the whole guild went to Dramil to patch up and get some rest. Cana pulled her usual stun downing everyone alcohol, especially girls. Juvia was a little tipsy but not quite drunk yet. She was in a thin dress as requested by Wendy to leave her bandages alone.

She felt a bit self conscious about how much skin was exposed. Then she saw Gray amongst other guild mates, naked of course, and she went to give him a hug. To her surprise, he didn’t push her away. He gently patted her head and said he was glad to see her safe.

It must be alcohol that numbed her a bit. She was not her dramatic self. She just clung to him a bit more and purred in content.

Nobody knew, or ever interested to know, her heart was frozen. It was gradually frozen up by long time refusal by others. At the end, it took 2 hugs (sort of) and a handful of gentle touches from an ice mage to release it from the eternal cold inside her. Life was full of surprises, wasn’t it?

**Author's Note:**

> I would really like to give Juvia more character. Really, she was a nice girl but rather desperate. Love takes time to grow. I don't think she would give up her live to let Gray live if it happened a couple months after they met. I love how unbudged her is when she run after Gray. However, normal human being gets tired of it some day. She may be desperate enough to have a later that-some-day than others, but eventually the fire will die out, that is if Gray didn't reply. Reading the comics, as a reader I can tell he was not totally cold about her, but she didn't know. This is a story that I wrote with lots of love for Juvia and genuine hope that she will have her share of happiness.


End file.
